I am drunk!m

I am a drunk
By Fr. John Whiteford

Hello, my name is John, and I am a drunk.
I want to be sober. I long for sobriety. This is how my therapist described it: silence of the heart, guarding of the mind, attention to oneself. Yes,
all the things I am not.
I am drunk on feelings. They wash in and out of my heart and I revel in them. Sometimes, its joy and desire and passion and sometimes its depression, hate,
and anger. Once I take the first sip, I cannot stop but want more and more and more. Even sadness and depression becomes quite intoxicating. And so, I
stagger and roar from the bottom of my heart. There is no silence there.
Guard the mind? No, I am drunk on images and my mind is wide open. The media is my drink of choice. Once I take a mental sip, I want more and more. There
are so many bars to drink in the images. The television is full of them and the internet is my best bottle. Movies and magazines all help to keep me drunk!
My mind is so filled with images that I can hardly pray without them popping up and darkening my mind. The thing is, I’ve been an image drunk since I was
a child. Mom put the bottle to our lips when we were children by sitting us in front of the television. (It was a great baby-sitter). My father kept pornography
around the house, so sensuous images are a constant. Strangely, I often walk past the images of the Holy Ones that I have in my house and I barely notice
them.
I pay no attention to myself because I’m too busy observing the faults and shortcomings of others. Spending all my time judging, I sit in on the bar stool
of the scornful. My sins come and go with ease because in my judgmental and drunken haze, I rarely notice them. Therefore, I have no real idea who I am
or what motivates me, but like strong liquor, my pride makes me swagger with the claim that I am a fine man and nothing like those other drunks. After
all, unlike the others, I can quit anytime I like.
Sobriety! One day at a time – one step at a time – trust in the “Higher Power” – be accountable – ask for forgiveness from those you have offended – make
no excuses for yourself - do the therapy – attend the Meetings – take the Medicine -read the Books - meet with your counselor – its all important.
Or…be a drunk!

thank you rami for sharing us this article

what can i say ??
it's the invisile war.... can we win it ??

i hope so

god bless you

hi,
thanks for your encouragement. yes, it is the invisible war. but it is worth fighting because of the hope of god's grace in us. what is impossible for man is possible for god!

keep me in your prayers

[glint]In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen[/glint]
[glint]

Glory to You, Christ our God, our hope, Glory to You

[/glint]

Peace and Blessing unto your spirit

Beloved in Christ, brother Rami

[glint]Let us give thanks unto the Lord.. [/glint]Father John's reflection; albeit, stated with new-fangled undertones. It reminds me of Saint John Chrysostom Homily ((Fifty eight)) on the Gospel of John. In particular, the portion where he spoke to those who say that there is no harm in worldly pursuits while neglecting the spiritual life. Here is what he had to say

Now I say this for there are some, much less responsive than this audience here, who do not become
ashamed at my words, but even speak at length in defense of their behavior
And if you ask, 'Who is Amos, or Abias, or what is the number of the Prophets or of the Apostles?' they cannot even open their mouth
But with regard to horses and charioteers, they can compose a discourse more cleverly than sophists
or rhetors. Furthermore, after all this they say: "What harm, now?" and "What loss?" Indeed, it is
for this reason that I am groaning, namely because
you do not know that the thing is harmful, and have no perception of the evil

God has given you a limited period of life to serve Him, and if you squander it vainly
and fruitlessly, and to no purpose, do you still
seek to learn what the loss is? If you completely squander
your days entirely on Satan's pomps, do you consider that
you are not doing anything wrong? Though you ought to
spend your entire life in prayers and supplications, while actually you waste your life, fruitlessly and for your
damnation, in shouting and tumult
and **** words and quarreling and unlawful pleasure and deeds of sorcery - even after all this do you ask 'What loss is there?' You are not aware that time must be expended more sparingly than anything else, If you spend gold, you will be able to replenish your supply, but if you lose time you will repair the loss with great difficulty for a small amount has been dispensed to us in the present life
Therefore, if we do not use it as we ought, what shall we say when we depart to the next life?...end of excerpt

In Christ I remain His
humble-sinful servant and your loving brother

thanks for the quotation. edifying indeed!

golden words from a golden mouth and came to us through golden hands
in Christ,

Rami