A - Man and Woman Company
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female” (Gen. 1:27).
Man was created in the image of God, and from the beginning he was a pair, that is, a man and a woman. And just as the triune God was not alone, (1)So too, man, “for from the beginning He made them male and female” (Matthew 19:4). The doctrine of the Holy Trinity, expressed as unity in essence and trinity in persons, is a fundamental truth that also expresses the truth about man. This great and unique divine truth forms the foundation of our life and the basis of our salvation. Therefore, we can affirm, without any hesitation, that this verse of the Bible indicates that man was created in the image of the triune God, both in nature and in fellowship with other people. Therefore, man was created from the beginning as a pair, that is, a man and a woman.
The Bible refers repeatedly to the mystery of marriage. In Proverbs we read that a wise woman is “an inheritance from the Lord” (Prov. 19:14). The prophet Malachi affirms that God himself, who created man and woman together, is the witness to the marital bond (Mal. 2:14). He combated the prevailing concept of his time that the sole purpose of marriage was to produce children and that divorce was possible after this purpose was achieved (see Wisdom of Solomon 4:1-6, Wisdom of Sirach 16:1-4), and emphasized that the essence of the mystery lies in the realization of common life and in preserving and developing the inseparable bond of the spouses, until the two become one spirit and one flesh (Mal. 3:15, Gen. 2:24, Mt. 19:5, Mk. 10:8), and he stated that God “hates divorce,” which contradicts this initial purpose of the mystery (Mal. 2:16).
We find the same meaning in the New Testament: “Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, commits adultery with her, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matthew 5:32, 19:9, Luke 16:18), “For God will judge adulterers and adulterers” (Hebrews 13:4).
On this basis, it can be said that the destiny of man is to resemble his Creator, that is, to live in full love with his fellow human beings, according to the divine example and in accordance with the love of the Triune God. In other words, this destiny is linked to the fellowship of the two sexes in one humanity.
B - Loving company
The union between man and woman would not be in harmony with human nature if it were achieved outside of God’s love, because God’s love is the cause and source of unity and love in the world. When Adam was steadfast in God’s love, he looked upon his wife Eve as a part of himself (Gen. 2:23-24). But when he was cut off from God’s love, by disobedience, he considered his wife a stranger to him, as if she were a different being, and he placed upon her the full responsibility for the disobedience (Gen. 3:12).
The creation of man as male and female, and marriage, are a favor from God to man and evidence of His supreme providence, which after the fall will be the basis of man’s hope for salvation. For God, from the first moment of the fall, promised man that he would rise again and did not abandon him to his fate without hope (Gen. 3:15). This promise was fulfilled in the incarnation of Christ, who “emptied” himself and became man and did not hesitate to offer himself as a sacrifice on the cross for the sake of his beloved people (Philippians 2:7). But how can fallen man comprehend this love of God? How can he accept the will of the God of love aimed at establishing a personal relationship with man? Therefore, it was necessary for the complete unity between God and man to be established in the person of Christ, the incarnate God, that is, in the unity of the divine nature with the human nature. Marriage was the model, the prefiguration, and the evidence of man’s salvation, which came about through the incarnation of Christ. As for God’s love, it is the starting point, the end, and the goal of marriage at the same time, because marriage is a communion of love.
C - The mystery of Christ and the Church
When the Bible speaks about marriage, it compares it to the marriage of Christ to the Church, and always links it to the bond of Christ and the Church. The Apostle Paul says: “For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, which is his body and he himself is the Savior. And as the church is subject to Christ, so let wives be subject to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing of water and by the word, and present her to himself a church in splendor, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So also husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church… This is a great mystery, the mystery of Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:22-32).
Thus the natural bond between man and woman becomes a “great mystery,” because its model is the bond between Christ and the Church. In it, man transcends himself, selfishness and individualism disappear from his life, and marital love moves him back into unity. Hence, St. John Chrysostom says that man and woman “thought they were two from the beginning, but see how they came together again and became one through marriage.”
Thus man returns to the unity of man and woman that will be completed in the Kingdom of God, where there will no longer be “neither male nor female,” but all will be “one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28), “as the angels in heaven” (Matthew 23:30, Mark 12:25, Luke 20:36). The Christian actually tastes this truth in the mystery of thanksgiving, where all are united in the one body of Christ: the Church.
D - Eucharistic frameworks of the Holy Mystery
If we know that the mystery of thanksgiving is a foretaste of the kingdom and the final unity of God’s people, we can understand why Christian marriage in the early Church was linked to the mystery of divine thanksgiving, and why the mystery of divine thanksgiving is the basic condition for the mystery of holy marriage. Christ came to the wedding at Cana of Galilee, and there he performed his first miracle by turning water into wine. He was not content with accepting the joy of the wedding and blessing the reality of marriage, but he symbolized with his miracle the mystery of divine thanksgiving, that is, turning the wine into his blood and the bread into his body, thus introducing the marital bond into the body of the Church.
“When two people are united by marriage,” says St. John Chrysostom, “they no longer appear as something earthly but as the image of God Himself.” Elsewhere he likens Christian marriage to a “little church.” Man is called to live in Christian marriage “in communion with Christ,” that is, “with Christ and the Church” (Eph. 5:32). Christ is always present with Christian spouses, according to his promise that whenever two come together in his name, he is with them.
Thus we understand why one of the Church Fathers considers marriage to be “the house of God,” and why a contemporary theologian declares that three “are married” in the sacrament of marriage: the groom, the bride, and Christ, meaning, of course, marriage “in the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:39).
E- Marriage outside the church
It is clear that there is a vast difference between the natural union of two people outside the Church and the sacrament of holy matrimony. The marriage bond outside the Church takes place according to the law of nature, especially the nature of the fall and corruption. The same applies to linking the meaning of marriage to social goals or to the demographic question. In all these cases, marriage cannot go beyond the reality of death and therefore cannot be considered a sacrament.
As for the Christian marriage that takes place in the Church with the blessing of God, it possesses the perfection of the love of spouses, and this love is its first meaning and its final goal, so it does not stop with death, but continues forever. In the words of Saint Ignatius: “Whatever you do according to the flesh, do it spiritually, for you do all things in Christ Jesus,” meaning that the marriage that takes place in the Church is spiritual, including physical unity.
And - the purpose of marriage
The primary goal of marriage is to be a continuous journey towards the fullness of love. This goal can be achieved even by barren couples (see Wisdom of Solomon 4:1-6; Wisdom of Sirach 16:1-5). However, the presence of children adds a new element to marriage, namely the element of fatherhood and motherhood. It makes love overflow from the spouses towards the beings that are born, so that each of them is ready to give everything for them, to go beyond himself and surrender himself completely to the love he offers for others (see 1 Corinthians 11:8-12; Ephesians 5:20). He is thus prepared to live that perfect love that he is called to live in the age to come. This sacred goal of marriage, that is, to go beyond the self in order to reach the fullness of love that begins with marital love and is completed in the Kingdom of Heaven, is seen in the symbolic service of holy matrimony.
The exchange of rings signifies equality and cooperation, and the one cup signifies the perfection of the shared life that is completed by the couple approaching the mystery of divine thanksgiving and entering into the “communion of souls and bodies” under the love of God that preserves them.
At the end of the sacred service, the priest says: “And you, O bride, may God magnify you like Sarah, and may He make you happy like Rebecca, and may you multiply like Rachel, rejoicing in this husband of yours and keeping the bounds of the law, for God was pleased to do so” (see Deut. 24:5, Prov. 5:18-19).
It is clear that the goal of marriage is not achieved by the efforts of the spouses alone, because achieving this goal is a gift from God. The Holy Spirit, who is active in the Church, distributes gifts to the faithful, and grants Christian spouses the grace of marriage (1 Cor. 7:7), and therefore Christian marriage is one of the seven sacred sacraments.
Christian marriage is not a matter for the spouses alone. It not only changes their position in society, but also creates a new state within the body of the Church, especially the parish to which the newlyweds belong. Because they are no longer two separate individuals, but have become one body, and are called to live the perfection of marital love “in the Lord.” They must express this bond with their entire life in the parish, which explains why Christian marriage is considered an event in the life of the parish, and must take place in the parish itself, not away from it.
Z - Wedding wreaths
It is no coincidence that the sacrament of Holy Matrimony is called a “crown” in the Orthodox Church. We know that crowns are for the martyrs and saints of our Church, and that is why we see them in icons crowned with luminous wreaths. But the Church crowns the newlyweds during the service of Holy Matrimony. In this way, it symbolizes that their connection with the bond of Holy Matrimony with purity and chastity is similar to the struggle of the martyrs who fought valiantly until the end and received crowns of victory for preserving the faith. The newlyweds also enter a new arena of struggle, which is the arena of the spiritual struggle that the martyrs of our Church fought. That is why they walk around the table with their hands clasped, while the Church invokes the holy martyrs, chanting with reverence: “O holy martyrs, who have fought well and have been crowned…” and “Glory to You, O Christ God… Joy of the martyrs…” Then she asks for them: “O God. “Our God, who was present at Cana of Galilee and blessed the wedding there, bless also these two of your servants who have been united by your providence in the fellowship of marriage. Bless their entrance and their exit. Increase the goodness in their lives. Raise their crowns in your kingdom. Preserve them spotless and blameless, and keep them forever.”
Footnote related to the chapter title “The Grace of Marriage”: See also “The Image of Christ in Marriage and the Family,” by Kosti Bendli, “The Gospel on the Paths of the Age” series, No. 6, and “The Family… Church,” by Paul Evdokimov and Kosti Bendli, “Get to Know Your Church” series, No. 7, An-Nour Publications.
(1) See: “Introduction to the Christian Doctrine, Chapter Seven: The Holy Trinity“Dr. Kosti Bandali. And”Dialogue on the Trinity with a Study of the Doctrine of the Trinity in the Bible and the Fathers“Dr. George Habib Bebawi. And”Does Christianity believe in one God?“…. Dr. George Habib Bebawi… (Network)