What is the meaning of Christian marriage? What distinguishes it from others?

Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). These few words summarize the entire mystery of redemption, because it is the mystery of love, which stems from God’s love for humanity, and in this way they summarize Christ’s relationship with the Church.

The Apostle Paul repeats this image in his letter to the Ephesians (Chapter 5) when he talks about marriage, and he likens the relationship of man and woman, that is, spouses, to Christ’s relationship with the church: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify and purify her” ( Ephesians 5:25-26). The goal of this love is holiness. Marriage constitutes one path of holiness and the other path is celibacy, because love is the basic foundation in both of them. Therefore, according to a concept in the Bible, if we want to learn the meaning of love, especially marital love, we must look at Christ’s love for the church and learn from him what the greatest love is. When Christ loved people, he died for them on the cross and did not look at their weaknesses and faults. Thus, in marriage, one declares that the other is what he desires, with all his faults, and that he is ready to give himself for the one he loves. “Therefore accept one another as Christ accepted us, for the glory of God” (Romans 15:7). On this basis, the priest places the two crowns of martyrdom on the heads of the bride and groom.

Love is the movement out of selfishness and individualism towards a unity that does not dissolve people but affirms them (such as the union of divinity and humanity in the person of Jesus Christ). Marriage, in its essence, is an attempt to achieve this unity where the two become not only one spirit but one body. This was in the beginning when God created man, male and female, after his likeness. God wanted them to be one when He created them.

Marriage is a divine institution since the dawn of creation and is not merely an agreement between two people as some say. This unity of love was broken by falling into sin, and love became tinged with the tendency to possess and control others. But Christ, through the mystery of redemption that He accomplished, restored marriage to its authenticity. Through the love that He poured into us, He restored to us the first Trinitarian model of love (the relationship of love between the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit). Thus, in Christian marriage, when the spouses approach the Heavenly Father and offer their entire lives to Him in Christ, when two people come together in the name of Jesus Christ and Christ is between them, human love is grafted onto divine love and the authentic union is achieved, so the two become one in Christ, who unites them through the Holy Spirit.

We believe that Christian marriage is a sacred sacrament that takes place in the church, where the two lovers come and offer their love to God through Jesus Christ. God blesses their marriage, unites them, and makes them one body.

The mark that distinguishes Christian marriage is this blessing that the spouses who agree to live together seek before offering their love through the Church and receiving His grace through the Holy Sacrament. Christian marriage is not just a contract between two people. It is a divine institution in which God enters as a partner, and it is eternal and does not disappear. Death itself does not differentiate between Christian spouses.

In order for God’s blessing to fall upon the newlyweds, Christ must be present in their hearts, and they must also be aware of the meaning of the perfect love that Jesus taught mankind in word and deed, which will bring them together.

What is the meaning of placing the engagement ring on the right ring finger?

During the deposit service or engagement, an important prayer is recited in which the meaning of the ring is explained as stated in the Holy Bible: It is a sign by which God confirms the promise that they made to each other, as proven by the words of Abraham’s servant who was sent to bring Rebekah to Isaac (Genesis 24). It is a sign of love, honesty, and truth that This was characterized by Joseph in Egypt (Genesis 41:42). And the sign of compassion that the father showed towards the prodigal son (Luke 15). “Because you, O Lord, have commanded us to give the deposit and to be steadfast in everything. With the ring, the Sultan paid to Joseph in Egypt, and with the ring the truth about Tamar was revealed, and with the ring our heavenly Father became compassionate to the prodigal son when he said: Place a ring in his right hand and slaughter the fattened calf, so that we may eat and be happy.” This prayer ends with a request to God to send His angel “to walk before them throughout their lives.”

Placing the rings on the right hand is a symbol of strength: “It is your right hand, O Lord, that recruited Moses in the Red Sea, and just as by your right word the heavens were strengthened and the earth established, so also you bless the right hand of your servants by your dear word and your exalted help.”

Finally, it should be noted that the ring symbolizes an eternal bond, being a circle with no beginning and no end, just like eternity.

Why is the psalm of Psalm 127, “Blessed are all those who fear the Lord who walk in His ways” sung with incense at the beginning of the Crown Prayer?

In the beginning, the priest burns incense around the table, the icons, the newlyweds, and the people. During the incense, Psalm 127 is chanted, and at each verse the following refrain is sung: “Glory to you, our God, glory to you.” This psalm is one of the psalms that were chanted on the steps of the temple when the priests entered the temple on important holidays, because it contains a mention of the family happiness that God bestows on His chosen ones, and the blessing of blessings on those who fear the Lord, from (Zion), which is the temple of the body of Christ Jesus our Lord. (John 2:21), and from Jerusalem coming down from God (Revelation 21:10), and in it peace be upon the new people of God (i.e. the church) who have entered the kingdom.
Announcement and peace students

The priest opens the wreath prayer by declaring, “Blessed is the kingdom of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit...” Blessed according to the biblical concept means making the Kingdom your goal. The goal of marriage is a life of holiness, and thus entry into the life of the Kingdom. Therefore, the newlyweds must keep the Kingdom in mind and seek it, and try to live and taste the Kingdom from now on and in this life through the complete fellowship of love between them.

The announcement is followed by the Hail Mary, in which we ask God to bless this wedding like the wedding at Cana of Galilee and to make the newlyweds “rejoice when they see their sons and daughters and to give them everything they ask for salvation.”

Avashin:

After the students, three prayers are recited to bless the wreath. The first prayer has a praising character, declaring the secret of creation in which Adam’s rib was transformed into a woman so that he and his wife would rule over creation. This is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, so they both become one flesh. The prayer mentions the marriages that God blessed in the Old Testament: Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel... In it, he begged God to grant the newlyweds a long life, chastity, and mutual love supported by the bond of peace...”

The second verse, in which we ask God, the righteous ruler of worldly affairs, who initiated the physical wedding, to bless the newlyweds and protect them, just as He blessed and preserved the fathers of the Old Testament. The priest asks God to bless the newlyweds, just as he blessed the forty martyred saints upon whom God sent down wreaths from heaven, blessing their martyrdom, so their death was a way to be crowned with wreaths of victory and the kingdom. These martyrs are a model of martyrdom for each other. He also asks God to remember “their parents who took care of their upbringing because the parents’ prayers strengthen the foundations of homes.”

The third prayer summarizes what was mentioned in the previous two prayers, in which we ask God to send His hand from His holy dwelling and unite the newlyweds, because from Him is the union of a woman with a man. During the ceremony, the priest clasps the bride and groom's hands as an expression of the unity existing between the spouses.

What does the priest crowning the newlyweds with the name of the Trinity symbolize?

After the two prayers and the first prayers in the wreath ritual, the priest takes the two wreaths and draws the sign of the cross with them on the newlyweds, declaring three times: “The servant of God will be crowned over the nation of God in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.” The crowning is done in the name of the Holy Trinity because the love of the bride and groom for their spouse must be an example of the love of the Trinity, which is complete giving. After the crowning, the priest replaces the two crowns on the bride and groom’s heads, chanting, “O Lord our God, crown them with glory and honor.”

Why does the church put wreaths on the newlyweds?

Saint John Chrysostom was the first to introduce the ritual of wreaths into marriage. Crowns are crowns of martyrdom, as married life is a life of continuous giving and giving. They are the wreaths of victory and joy that the martyrs receive in the Kingdom as a reward for them. In Christian marriage, the bride and groom are rewarded with wreaths as a result of their inner victory over their desires, faults, and shortcomings, whether physical or spiritual. The bride and groom are crowned “as evidence of their victory in chastity before marriage and of their bearing the cross in their shared marital life to participate in Christ’s victory and enter the heavenly kingdom.”

What does the cup of wine from which the bride and groom drink mean?

After the Gospel, the newlyweds recite the Lord’s Prayer, “Our Father, who art in heaven...” Then the priest blesses the shared cup of wine and makes the newlyweds drink it three baths in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, during which he recites, “The cup of salvation I accept, and in the name of the Lord I call.” This cup symbolizes the couple's complete fellowship in their lives, in joys, sorrows, difficulties, hardships, and comfort. The newlyweds will drink together the cup of life in its entirety and in its various aspects. It may have a sweet taste in the mouth or it may be very bitter.

What is the meaning of the session that the bride and groom take with the priest during the wedding?

After the shared cup, the procession begins three circles around the table and is called the dance of Isaiah: “O Isaiah, rejoice and leap, for the virgin conceived in her womb and gave birth to a son, and he is Emmanuel, God and man together, who is called the East. Therefore we venerate him and call the virgin blessed.” It is a dance of joy. The bride and groom spin in a circle to signify perfection and eternity. The circle has no beginning and no end, and it is a symbol of the completion of the time cycle. Therefore, this cycle is an expression of the complete, eternal joint life that the newlyweds intend to live. According to some, this dance indicates that the first steps that the newlyweds take, accompanied by the priest, must be in the path of the Lord.
During the procession, three hymns are sung. The first beatifies the Virgin, the Mother of God, because she gave birth to Emmanuel, the Savior of our souls, and the second asks for the intercession of the martyrs. The martyrs at the wedding are a permanent image in front of the newlyweds so that they know that marriage is a testimony in every sense of the word. As for the third hymn, it glorifies Christ God, “the pride of the apostles and the joy of the martyrs.”

What is the meaning of raising wreaths in marriage?

After the third session, the priest raises the wreaths from the heads of the bride and groom, asking God to glorify the groom like Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob so that he may walk in justice and safety, and for God to glorify the bride like Sarah and Rebekah and make her fruitful like Rachel, who gave birth to twelve children, calling on her to keep the limits of the Sharia. Then the priest recites two short prayers, in the first of which he asks that God accept the newlyweds’ crowns into His kingdom, for they are crowns of martyrdom. In the second, he asks the Holy Trinity to bless them and grant them a long life, good birth, and success in living and faith.

In Christianity, spouses are called for their lives to be a living testimony, as we previously said in previous verses. God will bless this testimony and raise the crown of their testimony in the heavenly kingdom if they persevere in their love for one another and for the children, and this love is constructive for the sake of life with Christ for each family member and for the entire family. . Marriage is a personal encounter in which one meets the other's entire person; With his body, thought, and emotions, we cannot separate one of these levels from the rest, and even more so; As Christians, we are called in marriage to have Christ as our perfecter in all things. He protects our relationship if he is a refuge for us in our prayers, our love, and our shared life.

Marriage is a partnership, but a third party enters into it, namely Christ. No one can agree on anything in it except through Christ.

Metropolitan Boulos Yazigi
Editing and compilation of the message of the Diocese of Aleppo
Quoted from the old website of the Archdiocese