-Sex before marriage

The saying “sex before marriage” stems mainly from the exaggeration of sex in this era. As long as people's mentality is widely gendered, it is self-evident to demand sex before marriage, and it is completely self-evident to think this way.

The saying “sex before marriage” does not seem like a strange or surprising proposition today, as the entire media is eager to promote goods and various consumer products within a sexual framework that women have always embraced, with unparalleled welcome. Likewise, the general global climate saturated with the spirit of sexual freedom and media freedom has fueled the desire for sexual knowledge among young men and women of this time. In addition to this is the failure of parents in their role, and the general laxity that has affected many towards undertaking the educational affairs related to their children, which has led to what can be called an estrangement between parents and children on many levels.

In fact, it is possible to search for a large number of factors that created what exists on the ground at this level.

Sex before marriage is a movement that is opposite to the movement of life. It is a rejection of what peoples all over the world have lived and continue to live by. Sex before marriage is like a person putting the cart before the horse instead of the horse being in front of the cart pulling it. Sex before marriage is entering into the unknown and being exposed to the unbearable fires of hell. The saying “sex before marriage” would make sex a hobby and not a school of life.

But sex is not a morsel of honey. It is in marriage mixed with the Biblical saying, “In the sweat of your brow you will eat your bread,” and “And with pain you will give birth to sons.” Modern sex is a cheap, easy, and good thing, and every person, regardless of his age, whatever his situation, and whatever his situation, can know it and practice it. But sex is not like that. It was never like this. 

- Sex before marriage is an irresponsible step

Those who demand premarital sex, or those who engage in premarital sex, usually justify their position by saying that it is natural because it is the result of love, or because it comes after love, or because there is love. That is, for these people, sex becomes a legitimate and proper matter simply because there is love.

But love alone is not the measure of the legitimacy of sexual intercourse, as it does not constitute a guarantee or promise anything. Love does not permit sex before marriage. It is just an emotion, and in many cases, it is an irresponsible emotion. Indeed, the demand for it is often a result of contemporary sexual media’s pressure on viewers.

Claiming citizenship on the basis of love (sola amour) only does not make it necessary for marriage. However, marriage remains the most complete and only framework for social love. It is the appropriate framework, because it makes men and women accountable before God and people. Thus, talking about love before marriage entails guarantee and responsibility, which is not achieved outside marriage or without marriage (25).

Marriage is a framework of responsibility, in which each party can embrace the other party, protect it, protect it from dangers, and surround it with care and attention. In marriage, a person is given every opportunity to express his alleged love, and therefore sex before marriage is not a sign of love, but rather a sign of lust that consumes its inviters and those who pursue it and brings them to the fire of hell. If you really have a great love, go ahead and legally marry your beloved.

Here, a large number of young men and girls may be upset by these words of mine, under the pretext that their love is pure and sincere, and that among themselves they do not feel wrong or sinful when they think about sex before marriage. Their words are usually romantic, calm, and beautiful, and even honest in most cases. who knows. But their problem remains that they ignore marriage as a framework for their love, and as a sign of the sincerity of their feelings. The philosophy of “sex before marriage” is merely the body’s longing for the body, and this is incomplete because the young man and girl are in the process of dating and courtship, and they urgently need to know each other well in order for their lives to be safe later. Hence, sex before marriage comes up inappropriately, prematurely, and even too early. Moreover, engaging in sex before marriage deprives both of them of all opportunities for deep acquaintance necessary for their lives.

- Sexual knowledge is later knowledge

We have grown up hearing that an honorable girl does not surrender herself, and that her heart, mind, and body are all for her man, in marriage.

But in this gendered age, sexual pressures have increased and values have changed. Sex in films is of all kinds, and television has more daring programs than before. Video today provides people with what they wish for and what they desire. Likewise, magazines, and there are many of them, do not fall outside the scope of this gendered time. People have been lost and gone astray. Sexual freedom has blinded the eyes and the hidden has become desirable. Sex will not heal unless the Taboo calls for it. Thus, demanding sex before marriage is not a valuable philosophy, but rather merely a desire whose owners seek to vent the lustful tension that is generated in them due to this time.

Sex before marriage is to extinguish a burning fire. However, sexual knowledge remains a later knowledge, a knowledge that comes late, regardless of the pressures of this time.

Sex is an element of unity, a sign of union. The Holy Bible keeps reminding us of this every time we read the wedding message: “Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and cling to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” Why is sex a sign of unity and union between a man and a woman? Is the aforementioned unit only physical? Is it achieved only by sex?

In marriage, the man and the woman enter into a unity of destiny, so that everything that concerns the man also means the woman, and the man’s happiness becomes the woman’s happiness, and the man’s sadness becomes the woman’s sadness. Man becomes a common concern and one heart, all within a framework of responsibility, commitment, and common interest.

But those who demand sex before marriage do not put matters in their place, but rather demand the issue in the name of modernity and modernity, under the pretext that times have changed and people have opened up and can no longer remain where they are. Indeed, more than that, he accuses everyone who carries the banner of morals and values of being reactionary and backward. However, the problem is not here, but rather it is summarized in the following saying: “The veiled is desired.” That is, the spread of the libertarian tendency does not stop, and will not stop, and those who work, behave and speak in ways other than the original laws that make them children of life will only harvest air and nothingness. The hypocrites may be backwards, but the empty advocates of freedom are people who do not ask their experience to inform them.

- Sex before marriage and silence from adults

There is no doubt about physical chastity (26)And behind it, internal chastity is the greatest difficulty for young men and women of this time. There is also no doubt that talking about chastity is not acceptable to everyone, as chastity has become a trivial, empty word that has no meaning and is useless.

In addition, at this particular time, the younger generations tend toward behavioral independence. Without taking the guidance of adults and the guidance of wise people. In our time, few listen to the advice of adults. Indeed, we can say that the adults whom we rely on in the matter of guidance resort to silence as if the children who are theirs are not theirs and do not care about them.

The silence of adults is a terrible phenomenon. On the one hand, it is a sign that adults have nothing to say. It may also be due to the wave of liberation that has prevailed to such an extent that adults no longer find it necessary to speak. There is also a segment of adults who are rigid and do not accept flexibility and wisdom, and do not take into account the reasons for change, which makes the children in question alienate from the oppression and power of their parents, and this translates into isolation, independence, and lack of respect towards adults.

However, the silence of adults leaves children in a desert, or even on an island, which each of them leaves at his own whim and returns to it again whenever he wants. This silence is terrifying because it makes adults unable to transmit their life experience to their children. Thus we come to a terrifying phenomenon that the experience of adults is for adults, and what children experience does not take into account the experience of adults, and does not benefit from it. This is a problem and is the cause of a large number of problems. If we assume that the experience of adults is for adults, and the experience of children is shaped by the lives of children, this means that the progress of humanity has stopped, and that the coming generations have become without a past (which is known as heritage). There is also another problem, which is that it is shameful for parents to remain silent and not have anything to say to their children. It is a shame to give birth to leave your children a morsel in the mouth of the world to eat as it pleases. Therefore, if we accept the silence of adults, who will train the children to choose a profession? Who will lead their steps towards life with all its ideals? Isn't it painful to see children growing up as they please, and being influenced by the street and the bad friends in it? Isn't it painful to see a father who does not know about his children? Isn't it strange that children live without anyone telling them, based on his experience and expertise, that people's daughters are dignified, and people's sons are dignified? Who will train them in family spirit and family building? Who will tell them how a son becomes a father and a daughter becomes a mother? Therefore, who will teach them about love, how to deal with love, and how to deal with their wives in the future, based on an experience they knew at the core of their lives, their mistakes, and their aspirations? It seems to me that all these lessons are missing or incomplete, if you will, in this time. The mother often sees her son making a mistake and going astray, so she covers up his faults for him, and this is understandable, except that she has no direction, and perhaps because males have their own in this East.

- Sex before marriage consumes the momentum of life

There is no doubt that the period of acquaintance between a young man and a girl, between what we call “the fiancé and his fiancée,” must be for the purpose of getting to know each other. Acquaintance, or getting to know the other person or the other party, is very important, as a happy marriage is built on it.

But many people do not allow the engaged couple, even within a framework acceptable to their morals, customs and traditions, to meet to get to know each other. Many others give their males permission and make it easy for them to do what they are strict with their females. However, there is a tidal wave whose circle is expanding day after day, representing an independent trend of young men and women who do not take the guidance and presence of adults, but rather work as they please without taking into account the results. Thus, the issue of sex before marriage remains one of the important matters that tickles their depths, and they express their desire for it, and they show sweetness in dealing with it due to the absence of its flaws, despite the fact that it comes to play a destructive role in their upcoming marriage, and in the family atmosphere that they are about to accept and enter, even after a while.

Sex before marriage is not a morsel of honey that moisturizes their being, nor is it fresh water that quenches their thirst, nor is it a game with which they kill time and the overwhelming boredom that has become a part of their lives. Sex before marriage becomes a source of great concern for all negligent people. From the testimony of many who went astray and returned, we find that knowledge of sex before marriage was a source of guilt for them, without them admitting it. One of the young men who experienced great loss told me that he did not find pleasure in what he was doing because a state of fear, darkness, remorse, desertion, and uneasiness came over him all the time. This experience is not strange, it is very true because what a number of young people do lacks a proper framework and inner peace.

In addition, sex before marriage makes those who experience it lose the momentum of life, such that when they enter married life, they are lukewarm and have nothing to long for. Even more than that, many sexually liberated people who experience sex before marriage will feel that marriage itself is unnecessary. It is as if by doing this, they have reached a goal that has nothing behind it, and this is a gateway to great boredom.

In this time, young people do not seem to listen well if they hear something useful, and perhaps they do not ask to hear something useful, because freedom with wrong concepts is sweeping through their thoughts, hearts, and practices. Inner blindness sweeps through many people today, and no one pays attention to the motives or results on which this or that behavior and practice is based. A state of turmoil affects children and adults, while role models for adults are almost non-existent. Likewise, the youth have no support, and most of them are only a few who walk in obedience to God.

Sex before marriage is not the result of love, but rather a sign of emptiness and loss, a sign of consumption of the other, a sign of the destruction of the other. It is a sign that people have gone bankrupt by losing values. Sex before marriage is an ignorant game, in which financially minors who are in need of their parents’ money act as if they were economically independent adults. The issue is not economic at all, but those who want to act in this way must realize that the child who acts as if he is old must be truly great and financially independent from his family. The one who behaves as if he is like his father is a short-sighted person if he is in dire need of... His parents support him.

It is as if most young people today say, and this is their language: The sex is from me, and the money and the car are from my family.

As we deal with sex before marriage, we are dealing with an issue that has not yet reached a devastating, cancerous level in our country, but it is an issue that is likely to lead to more explosions and crises. We don't realize the danger of a knife, unless it cuts us. Those who engage in sex before marriage will not hesitate before their energies are wasted and hope and meaning are drained from their souls. There is more corruption, more evil, more ignorance, and more prices. This is because the contemporary media incites violently, calling for sexual freedom. Media pressure continues, victims are falling here and there, people are unaware, and yet superficial people insist that modern, gendered behaviors are civilization itself. This is all stupidity.

In addition, what encourages sex before marriage, and in our time in particular, is the development of various contraceptive methods that have contributed to making the sexual act far from being exposed. The media, especially in our country, has become very bold, as it presents various methods of pregnancy and stresses their necessity because they protect against the risks of transmitting AIDS. Indeed, what a directive that calls on people to use various contraceptives, including condoms. In my opinion, these are things that facilitate chaos, and do not constitute a scientific solution to the ills of this time. However, no one speaks about this matter, as if the country remained silent and loved the story of the people of the cave.

People will remain in their error and misguidance. They will remain as they are until an hour we do not know. People will stay in Zigan. The voice of conscience will remain weak, hearts will remain submissive, as people are in emptiness, boredom, and fearful of poverty, the future, and the unknown.

People hang on to the ropes of the air, as the saying goes, and each of them has his reasons for this or that behavior. But blessed are the eyes that see and the ears that hear. Congratulations to the souls that do not break out and nothing can destroy or corrupt them. Congratulations to everyone who knows his role and mission. Congratulations to the father if he knows what his fatherhood requires, and to the mother if she knows that she is a teacher for her children and a support for her husband. Congratulations to every soul who can be content with knowledge and work, and be guided by advice and love. Blessed is he who knows that he was born for life, not for death. Congratulations to every soul who sees in the love of the Lord the source of beauty and virtue, because the beginning of wisdom is the fear of God.

Sex before marriage prevents understanding and cooperation between a young man and a girl

When lovers are preoccupied with sex, this may prevent the completion of the conditions for preparation for marriage, which results, especially after marriage, in surprises, clashes, conflicts, and states of anger, excitement, and fighting that may lead both parties to destruction. Therefore, young men and women must put aside sexual obsession, even though apparent or physical admiration remains in their relationship. In other words, sex must be reduced, not with the intention of forgetting it, but with the intention of looking at it in its natural size.

Here some people may want to ask the following question: We want with all our hearts to achieve true happiness, and we realize at the core that a state of anxiety and turmoil afflicts us and hurts us when we seek to create a lustful, even sexual, atmosphere in the encounter. Therefore, we longingly desire a balanced relationship that brings us and our relationships to the righteousness of faith, so what should we do?

If such a question is asked by lovers who are in love, then this is, in my view, a sign of sobriety and balance, and a sign of good health, even though it suggests that the sexual obsession is present and active. This is not a problem. The problem is not with sex itself, but rather with the way you deal with it. Those who do not covet the comfort, safety, tranquility, and continued bliss of the beloved may escalate sex, due to their overwhelming desire for him, without realizing the necessity of taking into account the other party’s feelings, feelings, condition, desire, comfort, and peace. Meeting lovers does not necessarily mean that they are having a sex date. It is true that some sexual freedom has begun to increase in our country, but we are not obligated to submit to what harms our relationship, as reason comes before sex. Those who abuse sex excessively are in a state like that of someone walking aimlessly in a dense fog. Concerning this particular point, we must say that sex has risks that we must pay attention to lest we fall into them and pay the bill.

But lovers increase, because adolescence retreats back to childhood. Today, humans develop physically at an early age, and the media comes to complement what is lacking. Hence, we feel that talking about exercising the mind before falling into sexual labyrinths may not be possible due to young age, especially if the lover is fifteen years old. Here, the parents must fully assume their responsibility, otherwise the children will go astray and slide into the abyss. My words to parents and young people are always: Sex is not everything. It is not the face of civilization, modernity and sophistication. It is true that humans do not have a seasonal rhythm that limits their sexual instinct as is the case with animals, but it is also true that sex is not everything, so dealing with it cannot be done without attention and reason. So let the parents let it end, and let them treat their children with great love and great embrace.

But unfortunately, young men may accept to choose this or that girl to the extent that this or that person has something that tugs at the heart, arouses admiration, and moves the body. Education and the environment play a role in the emergence of this and the apathy of that. However, we have to be concerned with the personal qualities and qualities that we look for in a future wife. We must have a degree of awareness that allows us to help the girl so that she, too, loves the qualities that she loves and hopes for in her future husband. Dating does not mean asking the girl where she lives and what kind of car she wants, but rather it means that we address our problems and reveal what we have, in order to build our lives and ensure happiness for our present and future. Dating means nurturing the future from now. I am convinced that this journey itself may not come to a praiseworthy end without a guide, which I see as an urgent necessity. It is first necessary to limit sex, not only during the dating period but also after marriage.

I am afraid when I see young men and women dealing with life issues, especially sex, lightly and recklessly. Dealing with life is not this way, and life is not safe for us if we neglect its laws.

Our problem with this time is that people treat life as if it were just a bunch of pleasures that must be picked and savored. Perhaps because things are so naive, people have to pay a high price in order for things to be conducted according to the standards by which they were set. Recklessness only brings about recklessness, and stupidity is the price of stupidity, and whoever sows the wind will only reap the storm.

Last but not least, I want to say that the married community knows very well that the rhythms of sex change, eagerness changes, and feelings change, with time. They know very well that sex and freshness are subject to change and disappearance. I have heard some married people say frankly that if it were not for moral, social, humanitarian and educational considerations, they would have deviated from what they were and returned to the fold of single people, to the expanse of irresponsible freedom that is not restricted by anything, and is not deterred by any deterrent or scruple. Aren't there also many among married people who envy the condition of single people? But aren't there also those among single people who envy married people's condition? But aren't there also those among single people who envy married people for the reach of their desires? What a contradiction and paradox! If the meaning of life can only be understood through the taste of sex, then what a miserable fate it is for married couples who lose their companions and become widows. We often forget these truths that we only attain through calm and tranquility. We can only attain it through pure contemplation. We often forget the truth when we are preoccupied with beautifying the body and beautifying sex. We often forget that life has an end, and that this end may be sudden and with it dreams and hopes evaporate. Beautifying sex and the body in a life that inevitably ends but we do not know when is extremely stupid and a sign of short-sightedness. And the divine Paul was not stupid at all, but rather he was very wise when he said: “...Brothers, the time is shortened from now on, so that those who have wives may be as if they did not have them.” (27). And those who weep are as though they do not weep... and those who use this world are as though they do not make use of it, for the form of this world is passing away” (1 Corinthians 7:29-31). This means what we are in, because it is not permissible for us to worship sex, deify the body, color it, or be enslaved to the techniques of sexual relations that are exaggerated by the gendered media to the point of dissolving resistance in humans. We must not submit to the suggestions of modern merchants, who stir up desires to enslave people and collect money.

The divine Paul knew the meaning of love without being married (Romans 8:38-39). For him, the meaning of love is not measured by marriage or singleness, but rather it is entirely in the giving of the heart to God. If love were lived only in marriage, single people would be ignorant strangers. If the meaning of love was to be lived in celibacy, families would be a barren desert with no greenery or water. What is strange is that we do not see the meaning of love in a family that knows factional feelings and is only concerned with loving those with whom it is related by flesh and blood. The meaning of love in the Church is not based only on the Kronstadt model, nor is it limited to those who are modeled only on Saint Anthony the Great. The meaning of love is not in the social situation, but rather it is all in the knowledge of Jesus Christ, who alone reveals the meaning of love and the meaning of existence, because he alone can lead us to the fullness of life, for he alone is the way, the truth, and the life.

(25) The girl desperately needs a guarantee. Ask her and she will tell you her true feelings. Love may be like a game and lust for a young man, but Eve is sincere in her love. However, Eve seems to have lost herself in what she is doing on both the small and big screens.

(26) I used to still desire and wish for a woman to cross in the street without men looking at her. Jihad against the evil eye or to purify the evil eye is more difficult than waging a battle. Victory over Al Ain is greater than winning the spoils of all wars.

(27) It is not easy to understand the words of the Prophet in our gendered age. However, these words do not mean that a man should divorce his wife, or a woman should divorce her husband. These words, in short, mean that the couple should draw closer to God so that they may have father, mother, and everything. Nothing lasts, except God and his loved ones.